While in Australia she started blogging about beginning to experience bouts of depression on top of her anxiety. "We know that there was a lot of pedestrian, car and bicycle traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge the morning Sydney disappeared. As a teenager, I related so closely and had so many mixed emotions in comparing the results of my vs the characters attempts. As I entered Oklahoa, something I like to think it was my Higher Powerinspired me to call my brother in Illinois and I ended up going in and out of treatment centers until I finally realized that Im an alcoholic and that there was hope for me. Hello Tony, so sorry for my belated response. I am suicidal have been for the past week. I just got out two days ago. Even so, bridge foreman Arthur Olson caught up with the stuntman as the crowd gathered, and grabbed him, but lost his grip, only succeeding in ripping free one of the harnesses. When I arrived at the #FindSydneyWest vigil in Pleasanton, I said whoever is singing has a beautiful voice. I am so very grateful now to be alive and I hope to find ways to assist others going through the deep abyss that can sometimes take over your entire being take another breath, and another. 2021 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. For Kevin Hines, the will to live kicked in immediately. Praying for you. I often want to jump off the bridge by my apartment. You can learn more about me here. Joshua Bote is the tech editor at SFGATE. I am a three time attempt suicide survivor and it has been a year since my last attempt and the ideation has pretty much left me. Im about to be 22, medicated trying to live normal with constant suicidal thoughts. If you havent already joined a support group for other suicide loss survivors, that might help you; such groups are available in person and online. Email: Andrew.Chamings@sfgate.com | Twitter: @AndrewChamings. Dear Anthony, [feb.6.2019 @9.26am]. Growing up Sydney was described as a sweet and goofy girl who wasnt afraid of being herself. They have a good, nonjudgmental, and supportive discussions at ChronicSuicideSupport.com/forum/. I also knew that there was no hope whatsoever for what was wrong with me. The entire bridge in covered with CCTV cameras monitored 24/7, and footage is retained for 6 months as it is federal land and monitored by Homeland Security. She struggled with being so far away from her parents and sister, who reside in North Carolina. Theres just a lack of evidence that shes not with us anyone, Jay West said. Video footage from the bridge has been carefully reviewed by investigators but due to foggy and smoky conditions camera views where obstructed making it impossible to tell her exact location on the bridge. He says he fully expected to speak with her the next day and became very worried when she didnt return multiple calls from him. There are some reports that Sydney may have suffered from depression. I feel selfish but I feel like I still have to be brave for people because of their fear I might try again. (felt good to be honest for once). It's not hard to kill yourself at the Golden Gate bridge. Camera footage has been reviewed and interviews have been conducted among West's friends and acquaintances, but there are no leads. A good place to start is the Facebook group Live Through This. "I jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge" || Kevin Hines' incredible story East Bay Wine & Whimsy (Metaphysical Market), Before & After Photos Show CA's Snowpack, Reservoirs After Storms, Best Bay Area Sandwiches + Stranded Hiker Rescued: Saturday Smiles, Sprawling Estates, Suburban Dreams: 11 Featured Bay Area Homes, Berkeley Police Warn Of Vehicle Theft Rise, The Poop On Free-Range Cats And Your Lawn And Garden [Block Talk]. As a person who has tried countless times to end my life, even shooting myself in the head, we are stuck living with yet another feeling of failure when we fail and continue suffering. To request removal of your name from an arrest report, submit these required items to arrestreports@patch.com. West had just gone off to college to her dream school, University of California Berkeley. The four-second fall from the Golden Gate Bridge sends a person plunging . I dont understand why things are suddenly going so well for me though.. Youd think karma would hit me and make my life way worse but I guess the universe wants me alive for some reason? For example, he may be telling himself that the way he feels and is now is the way he will feel and be forever. I am dead broke, have exhausted both my savings and retirement stash, I am about to have my car repod and cant find a job. I hate when people invalidate another persons pain by suggesting a suicide attempt wasnt a sincere result of suffering. I worry almost everyday that Ill maim myself again and not die. And they did for the Hollywood stuntmans attempt to sail off the Golden Gate Bridge on Feb. 6, 1948. In the 1970s, a researcher named Richard Seiden wanted to find out what happened to 515 people who came to the Golden Gate Bridge to die within the previous 35 years, but who were stopped by California Highway Patrol officers. Berkeley when she went missing on September 30, 2020. I know there will be a lot of people out there who will think a certain thing happened to Sydney. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Between 1937 and 2012, an estimated 1,400 bodies were recovered of people who had jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, located in the San Francisco Bay Area in the United States.. West's family urges anyone with information about the case is asked to contact Scott Dudek, their investigator, who can be reached at 925-705-8328. Im sorry to hear of your loss Suicides at the Golden Gate Bridge - Wikipedia The instant regret of jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge did not result in instant mental health recovery once Hines survived. Anyone who has seen her since is also asked to contact San Francisco police at 415-575-4444 or the family's private investigator at 925-705-8328. The suicide barrier on the Sydney Harbour Bridge simply rerouted jumpers to a cliff popularly known as The Gap. She was carrying a black backpack and her light brown hair was pulled back into a bun. Suicides Mounting, Golden Gate Looks to Add a Safety Net Except that my fiance was making me depressed because he wouldnt move in with me again like how we were living together before. The chances of surviving. He had a gun in the house that he never used, was trying to sell, I didnt even think of it during this time. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I've taken the Fenway Park Tour 3 times in my life. Each year I did We certainly do need to continue educating people about suicide prevention, including the reality that most people who survive a suicide attempt choose life afterwards. Golden Gate Bridge suicide nets delayed two years, as people keep jumping San Francisco Police have previously said the teenager "is considered at risk due to depression." Thats why I searched for answers and I found this site. But the cameras lost sight of her because of heavy fog, making it impossible to know what happened. Sometimes, life just sucks and the pain of living is unbearable. I knew then that I would never try it again. At the time, a made for TV movie, named Silence of the Heart came out. The chances of surviving are less than 1.5%, and almost zero if the feet don't hit first. She is described as standing 5'10", weighing about 130 pounds, with light brown hair and blue eyes and possibly wearing glasses. The San Francisco Police Department's tip line can be reached at 415-575-4444. Youve been through an enormous amount. I am not sure anybody really wants to die but I know many people, including myself, who are just sick and tired of living and want it to be over. First published on January 25, 2021 / 11:03 AM. KCBS IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF CBS BROADCASTING INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. I know how hard it is. Its impossible to know but something to consider, in case youre only considering the set of possibilities for which you blame yourself. The story of Kevin Hines demonstrates the clarity that can finally appear when someones life is on the line. I wanted to distance myself from it as much as I could so that people would leave me alone. Anyone with information is asked to contact private investigator Scott Dudek at (925) 705-8328 or Dudek.associates@gmail.com. It was the last thing Dusty did, and it was a failure, she said. I did find this website and it has so much information that I needed to read. He and his wife lived in Tracy and had an adorable . You might be helped by connecting with other people who have attempted suicide and can understand not only what can lead a person to do that, but also what comes after. She attempted suicide three times and was in mental hospitals, etc. Key to my recovery was becoming realistic about my part in creating the calamity called my life, but also needed to recognize others responsibilities as well. A little over four years ago I couldnt see an end to the emotional pain and despair I felt and became obsessed with thoughts of killing myself: another failed marriage, another lost job, another lost home, my girlfriend left me and just as we seemed to be getting back together died of a stroke. Wests parents said they have now hired a private investigator who is working with the San Francisco Police Department and Orange County (North Carolina) Sheriffs Department. The Golden Gate net project is like putting a bandaid on an ulcer. "This will be the biggest jump of my life," he told her. She had moved in with friends in San Francisco, where she was living when she disappeared. I love to see that in the Comments section; I find it beautiful when people can connect in this way and, even more, when someone can tell another person what they havent believed for themselves. Bonnie. The articles abstract states: Following the interventions, there was an 86% reduction in jumping suicides per year at the sites in question (95% CI 79% to 91%). r/redsox. After he was rescued, he continued to live, and lives still, serving as a suicide prevention advocate at the national level. As of 2013, it is estimated that 34 people have survived after jumping. That changes things. For suicidal individuals and their loved ones, survivors, mental health professionals, & others who care, Although severe depression led him to jump off the bridge, Kevin Hines, Yet it gives me great hope that the vast majority of suicide attempt survivors remain just that survivors. Trackback URL YEAH? In the midst of a struggle with mental illness, Hines got a running start . I said, Well, the night we met I got so drunk I passed out on the living room floor. You might think that, once freed from the authority figures who prevented their suicide on the bridge, they still went on to by suicide. Saving Lives at the Golden Gate Bridge. I put up a front so my kids wont end up the same way. 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He recovered physically, but mentally he is now depressed and on anti-depressants,has anxiety attacks, is too emotional for working, and keeps saying he wishes he had succeeded with his attempt as he feels a burden to everyone. According to San Francisco Police Department (SFPD) her family reported her missing two days after she was last seen on Oct 2, 2020. SFGATE news editor Amy Graff contributed to this report. I cant get beyond the pain. SAN FRANCISCO (CBS SF) The family of a UC Berkeley freshman who disappeared last September has offered a $10,000 reward for information in connection with the case. Her parents thanked others for the love and support, and asked people to continue spreading the word by sharing photos and memories of their daughter on social media. Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting. A vigil was held last week for West in Pleasanton. Her parents,Jay and Kimberly West,said their daughter liked visiting that bridge and would go to nearby Crissy Field to exercise. The details of your life will, of course, be different but we have our humanness in common. Rhodes press agent, Susan Todd, told reporters that Dusty had painstakingly calculated the speed of his fall, how he would hit the water and other details, as he did when he prepared for his movie stunts. He managed to turn himself upright in the few seconds it took for him to hit the water; this way, he did not land on his head. In 2013, Briggs retired from the California Highway . I feel fortunate and very grateful that so many individuals take their time and devote energy to sharing what they have experienced in their lives-it is so difficult for most people to understand in its wholeness-the value of life ..the science of every day living and the extreme depth and mystery and solstice to human beings, but one way to start understanding why people: innocents commit suicide is to acknowlege the exact factors of why a healthy person would just turn off the switch to existence. But what if you dont want help? Copyright 2023 Nexstar Media Inc. All rights reserved. Sydney West never returned home, and has not been heard from since. I recently lost a good friend to suicide. You provide inspiration to others who still are stuck in that hopelessness and despair. Written forwww.speakingofsuicide.com. I saw the signs, the depression, his feelings of hopelessness, but somehow its easier to see the signs after it happens and not while you are in the throes of this emotional rollercoaster. Even though a prior suicide attempt dramatically increases the risk for future suicide, studies have demonstrated that most people who survive a suicide attempt do not go on to die by suicide: There are different possible reasons why people who attempt suicide, or try to make such an attempt, might choose afterward to stay alive. This is perhaps why only one of Rhodes' three small parachutes opened, doing nothing to slow him down. Its agonizing to lose someone you love to suicide, and you describe that agony very powerfully. Thats simply not true, but it took stepping outside my beliefs, becoming teachable and following the leads of others to find a life worth living. Sadly, your post is being used by some commenters to justify the Golden Gate Bridge net boondoggle. Theres another post that might be helpful to you, too: You Cant Do Everything: Limitations in Helping a Suicidal Person. It seems to be an if all else fails, Ill just kill myself attempt to cope that gives me short-term comfort but itlike alcoholonly provides temporary relief and Im still left with my limited ability to cope with life. She is described as a white female, 5'10" and weighing about 130 pounds. More often than not, the crisis passes. Some die instantly from internal injuries, while others . The ongoing survival of people who attempt suicide is not (always) inevitable. At this point I feel like Ill just maim myself or end up locked up for a minimum of six months( yes thats happened to me). Once her gap year was over, she moved back to California decided to attend U.C. Edit: FAQs https://findsydneywest.com/faq, https://www.pollyklaas.org/missing-children/sydney-west/, https://pleasantonweekly.com/news/2021/09/30/what-a-week-find-sydney-west, https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/searching-for-sydney-san-francisco-police-still-asking-for-publics-help/?fbclid=IwAR2uVE3anCjr5EvpUerTiD6JZxCAENR83-xIRz3TRzAfRuGckyYFzRqnobM, https://storiesoftheunsolved.com/2020/11/27/the-disappearance-of-sydney-west/. Wests parents led a socially-distanced vigil in Pleasanton last Thursday. West took a rideshare service to the Golden Gate Bridge; the driver cooperated with San Francisco police and is not believed to be a suspect. Kevin Briggs. 10 Reasons Teens Avoid Telling Parents about Suicidal Thoughts. When I will be talking to him, also sure helps me to see I am suicide attempt survivor. I wish everyone could receive this gift, and I am grateful that you and others have done so! It is true that suicide sometimes defies even the best efforts to thwart it. Try convincing someone like me that life is worth it. Thank you for reaching out to Joan and offering your support. Friends and family may rally to their side. She was also seen wearing black shorts at times and may have been wearing glasses, said her father, Jay West. I tried by drinking mosquito poison. . We dont like living in pain, and we look for ways of ending that pain and, being creatures of habit, we do it in old familiar ways because thats what we know. Although severe depression led him to jump off the bridge, Kevin Hines has stated: "The very second I let go, I knew I had made a big mistake." In Mental Health circles there is a saying , that Sometimes suicide is inevitable. Dealing with the guilt is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. I had my suicidal thoughts since I was a child I lost my mum when I was 9 years old she took her own life and even now after my attempt I still dont know how to feel about what happened to her and what I have done to my self but I know I will have to find a way to live with the impact of my attempt and hopefully find a way to some sort of happiness, Please seek help, therapy to work through your trauma, it must be so hard to have lost your mum in this way and your nine year old self could only feel abandoned, not enough to have stopped her. For more information, please see our I once attributed that simply to having realized I wanted to live and (narrowly) surving my attempt.

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